Gardening // Personal
I wouldn't say I have a green thumb based on a summer plus some of community garden plot ownership. But every time I'm there, sitting my behind in the dirt to pull weeds, to pick tomatoes and cultivate seeds and dirt into things we eat and enjoy, I feel like I could maybe, someday, in retirement with long grey hair in a braid, become one of those plant ladies.
We had a giant circular tulip bed in the house I grew up in. It would bloom every spring and I would go outside with my Mom, bare feet and biker shorts, with a basket and scissors to cut blooms for the vases inside. There were all the colors; white, pink, yellow, red. I don't even remember how often we did this routine when I was around 4-6 years old, but I have such a vivid memory of it.
The next summer, we moved from that house. I don't remember a lot of gardening after that. Until I was a preteen and we planted tulip bulbs wrong side up in the garage side garden bed. It would be about two years before anything even burst up from the dirt.
I was always more of an indoor kid, anyway. I preferred crafts in the air conditioning to nature and sweating. I preferred books to daydreaming, staring at the clouds. I preferred shoes to barefoot in the grass. I hated being dirty. But I do remember the first time stepping on my grandparents' freshly laid sod and loving the feeling. Like soft, satin ribbons of grass in between my toes.
Farmers markets became the hipster thing when I was in college but I always gravitated towards things I knew. Like strawberries or coffee. Ha! It was later that I ate peppers, green beans, pea pods, artisan lettuce, cucumbers and tomatoes for the first time and I LOVED EVERY SINGLE BITE.
My body started to crave fresh produce, so much so that my tiny fridge in my first apartment was jam-packed with freshness rather than preservatives. It was amazing. I was cooking brussels sprouts, edamame and mixing everything with hot sauce - for breakfast! What a novel idea!
Spring 2017 came and we were engaged, planning our wedding. Friends asked if we wanted to go in on a community garden plot. I quickly scanned my memory bank and realized how much I wanted to actually love gardening, even though I'd never really truly invested in it. We said yes and gave it almost everything we had.
Nature is funny, in that you can plant a couple seed packets and water it diligently (sometimes letting nature itself water it!), only to return to your plot a day or two later and it's like a miracle right before your eyes. TOMATOES GROW FROM FLOWERS, GUYS. I didn't know this until I was 31.
I never ate anything that came from the actual ground that I planted with my own two hands until last summer. That lettuce stayed fresh in our fridge for longer than any store-bought lettuce ever did. And it was pure magic.
Picking tomatoes and making fresh panzanella salad? I DIED AND WENT STRAIGHT TO GARDEN HEAVEN.
This spring came and we decided to try our hand at this gardening thing again. Just my new husband and I - we could totally conquer this! We planted a tad later than we hoped, Minneapolis saw SO MUCH RAIN, then SO MUCH HUMIDITY and meanwhile, I'm saying my prayers every night, asking God to take care of our plants like a crazy plant lady (already winning! No grey hairs yet!).
I walked up to our plot one day and it was like someone dropped a bomb called CRAB GRASS on our beloved spot of 21st century pioneering refuge. And it just kept growing and multiplying, like the jerk weed crab grass is. If I ever met crab grass in a dark alley, let's just say ...
Schedules became busier and we had a few stretches of 90+ degree days where AC and a cold beer sounded better than getting out there to weed. Until one morning this week, when we both had had it UP TO HERE! My sweet husband, who never raises his voice or gets angry, yelled at the garden and its crab grass, swearing like a sailor. We came up with a plan to attack (out of crab grass's ear shot, of course).
We attacked. He went first, at dawn, to show it who was boss. I came later, to see that sweet husband, who has been through a thousand lives with me and then some, using the same garden shovel that my great-grandpa had used for decades. He refers to it as the Grandpa Jakie shovel and then I'm in the weeds, crying my eyes out.
It's not a coincidence that we attacked our garden on the day we laid my sweet great-grandfather to rest five years ago.
As I was sitting there, well, more like laying between tomato plants to get ALL THE WEEDS OUT, this thought came to me:
Gardening is a metaphor for marriage and relationships.
You get an idea, see a plant that you have a crush on (for me? tomatoes) and you decide to put something into making it blossom for yourself to enjoy. You find yourself buying the organic starter plants at the local garden store instead of the big box garden center, convincing yourself it's so worth it. Next thing you know, you're buying the expensive bag of organic, all natural compost-based fertilizer and about $100 later, you're ready. You clear your schedule to get to the garden, dig your hands in the dirt. It doesn't matter if you're even wearing gloves or not - because your plants love you regardless of what you're wearing! They know your heart.
You do your research and find that marigolds on the perimeter of the garden keep pests out. Great news! You'll do whatever it takes to keep this plot of heaven safe from creatures great and small. Safety first, garden!
What's even better? The entire time you're planting these seeds and starters, you can't have your phone out. You're unplugged, enjoying nature and all the magic of what's in store. You find yourself relishing in your hard work and you celebrate with ice cream! Hooray!
But then the work begins. You have to plan your schedule to ensure the garden is watered and cared for. You want to go out of town? You'd better find someone to water this thing! You see a small weed start to sprout and you pull it. Not too hard, this gardening thing.
During few days of rain and heat, you enjoyed the break from the work. You went out with friends, laughed and loved, all was well. The weather returns to normal summer temps and you return to the garden.
WHAT THE HECK. There are weeds sprouting like grass EVERYWHERE. There is not one square inch that is open dirt. What happened?! You were only gone like two days! You're wailing, the world is against you! How could this happen?!
You consider abandoning the plot. Jumping ship. The money you spent is already gone, it's not like anything is really lost or gained. Just chalk it up to experience.
But then you see it. A tomato just about to turn red or yellow. A jalapeño flower has the tiniest pepper growing from it! The lettuce you planted from the smallest seed is pushing up from the dirt. You're crying, you're so happy! Nature is happening right before your eyes!
This is worth it!
You put on your gloves and with a huge sigh, start pulling those weeds. Some are pretty deep, so you use a shovel to get it out at the roots. Because it you just pull out what you see, it's going to keep growing, festering and coming back. It's going to suck the nutrients from that tiny jalapeño, the almost-red and ready tomato! SHAME ON YOU, WEEDS.
What a sense of accomplishment to go from something you thought about abandoning to something clean, fresh and fruitful.
On our wedding day, my husband and I promised many things to each other. One is to not let issues or anger or hurt fester. To put on our big adult pants and tell the other person how we feel, because we've seen what happens when you do the opposite. It has always been worth it to be honest, to allow ourselves to be vulnerable in front of the other partner and put that shovel in the ground to pull a pesky weed out at the root.
Hugs are the water after you pull out the weeds, hoping that with a little sunshine-filled smile, things will continue to grow and blossom.
Even when you feel the garden has abandoned you and weeds take over, it's worth it to invest the time into cleaning it up. It's an unpaid gig, unless you're a landscaper by trade. Sweat equity is a real thing and you'll probably feel drops of salt water headed straight into your eyeballs. After wiping it away, you encourage and spur each other on because you realize you simply cannot go it alone. I mean, you could, but it's far better, faster and more precious to take on the journey side by side.
“I am beginning to learn that it is the sweet, simple things of life which are the real ones after all. ”
I whole-heartedly believe that the good work of tending to our marriage is one of those real, sweet things of life.
Hugs to our wedding photographer & dear friend, Bernadette Fox, for the images used in this blog. You are the best! <3
Dreams // Personal
She hates when I write about her on social media and the blog, but I think for the better part of 10 years, she's known I'm the touchy feely one who needs to write it out. So in advance, M: thank you.
She wore all black, tights with rips and gold bangles that clanged together when she whipped up lattes and played Beyonce when the owners were gone for the day. But her eyes? THE KINDEST EVER.
I was 21 and she was 20 and we were baristas at a Highland Park coffee shop (RIP White Rock!) and I was the new kid, hosting my 22nd birthday gathering just down the street after we closed up shop. Heart beating out of my chest, I asked her if she was doing anything or needed to study and if not, maybe just maybe you'd think it was okay to come to the party?
Those eyes glanced my way, she probably winked or smirked and said, "yeah girl, I'll be there." And that, my friends, was the beginning of a decades-long platonic life partnership between me and Marissa.
For the last 10 years, she's been there.
// When we were two stubborn girls who claimed we needed space or another stupid reason, we spent a few months apart. I ended up at a show she was at (which was pure fate, because I AM NOT a show person and she is) and in her flannel and tights, walked over to me and just hugged me. I hugged back, tighter than ever and that was that. She came back at a time I needed her and turns out, she needed me just as much.
// When I moved into my first apartment, Marissa came over and gave it her seal of approval. She would come over weekly, around 8 pm when I started my nightly OCD preparations: making a lunch for the next day, setting up the coffee pot to brew at approximately 6:35 am, laying my clothes out, setting up my workout for the morning. She claimed it was helping her be a better, more organized person. It made me feel like I was doing something right!
// When we were in our mid-20s and living on shoestrings with impending piles of student loan payments, she would call me up to meet her for coffee. Coffee turned into a walk around the block turned into a 5 mile walk. I never wore the right shoes. She had band-aids for my blisters.
My ever-present photography school subject who I have lovingly taught to "find the light and put your face there." She was photographed so much by the MCTC Photo & Digital Imaging Department that she was banned from the classroom and studios. Oops!
She's the original hustle, the original Mo Money, but most importantly, she's my person.
The recipient of many SOS HELP ME texts over the last 10 years and her constant advice that I've started to heed?
You be You girl. You do you. Love and be loved. 💛
We're only six weeks out from her wedding and less than 6 months from mine. On those 5+ mile walks when we were 23 we'd plan out our lives, filling them with hopes, dreams and by the end of the walk? Somewhat more realistic visions. When I think about that long list of wishes, I am overwhelmed with how many of those items are now checked off.
We hoped we'd meet our soulmates and they'd make us laugh. But also that they'd take out the trash. CHECK.
We hoped we'd be in each other's weddings and be the source of all calm and reason during the process. CHECK.
We planned to buy a duplex and live side by side until we were old ladies wearing mumus, having afternoon tea together and growing gardens. ALMOST CHECK.
Next life goal? DUPLEX.
My Why: I pay another photographer to document my family
Soon after Luis and I started dating (3 months in, to be exact!), I had him join me at a mini session with Sara Montour with the point of my getting images for a new branding announcement that summer. I brought a dozen sprinkle donuts and milk and we had a blast! Luis came in for a few shots (after Sara's gentle prodding) and for as comfortable as I am in front of the camera, he is not. He's a behind the scenes - behind the lens kind of guy and I love him for that! Looking back at those images, I am so grateful that Sara pushed Luis into the limelight for a few seconds, because now, we have these fun, light-hearted handful of images together at the very beginning of our story.
Later that year, I kept seeing all these styled images popping up over Instagram - fellow photographers drinking coffee on their couch at home, playing with their kids in the backyard, holding their cameras all cutesy and enjoying wine on a patio with friends. Basically, they were LOVING LIFE and having it professionally documented. I kept thinking there was some kind of big secret or trick behind this. Surely, these talented photographers had put their cameras on a tripod and mastered the art of the selfie in a big way.
When I met and started a friendship with Duluth photographer Amanda Cane of JaneCane Photography, I quickly realized we were kindred spirits. Mostly because she dumbed a lot of things down for me and smacked me over the head with a few others when it came to business: those photographers? THEY HIRED SOMEONE to take those beautiful photos! Another photographer!
Hold the phone for a second: a professional photographer with talent, education and professional gear PAYS someone else with the same credentials to do the job they can do, simply to document their story in an authentic and candidly real way ... and to self-promote. I felt like such a dummy for never realizing it before! But once I realized it, I was totally in :)
And suddenly, Luis and I were moving in together and I felt ALL THE FEELINGS about this big huge moment in our life together. I called my friend Jen of Jen Meneghin Photography and she came over to our first home together, to document us eating breakfast and riding bikes. I'm grateful for those images, since we ended up moving to a different area and different apartment soon after we did the session with Jen. Plus, we incorporated Luis' love of biking into the session - and since then, his adoration for bikes has grown even more!
Approaching our two year anniversary, Luis and I trekked to Duluth in February, on the coldest day of the winter to do an in-studio session with Amanda. We immediately connected with Amanda over our quiet, loving dudes being paired with loud, big dreamer photographers :) Luis and I left that day, being reminded of how much we love each other and cuddling in front of the camera is something that looks so natural - even though if we were to listen to the soundtrack of our session, it was filled with nervous laughter and Amanda's amazing laugh.
We went back to Duluth last fall to adventure through Chester Creek and an amazing lookout spot with Amanda. Our session went into the evening, when we shared a meal and beers with Amanda and her fiancee Drew. We left that night, turning to each other and saying simultaneously, "those are good people. Those are OUR PEOPLE."
With each session that we do (and Luis endures!), I'm grateful to have our story documented in photos. Of course, we have endless selfies and funny slo-mo videos documenting our big and small moments, but nothing compares to the physical prints and albums we have in our home.
Someday, our kids will grab the red album off the shelf and point and laugh at our goofy 2 year anniversary session or ask Luis where the green bike went from the black album. They'll laugh at the way that I trekked through a waterfall with heeled boots and made french press coffee in the woods (which was really, truly, a parking spot!).
These images, these stories, are the stories that fill our life and they document how our love has grown and changed through the years. Thankfully, gratefully, we have what feels like an endless group of friends who are talented photographers and beautiful souls who we can ask to come to our home, join us for donuts and coffee and a bike ride.
And guess what? I believe those friends should be paid for their work. Because I believe I should be paid for my own work, doing the same for my fabulous clients. Because sure, I could set up a timer and we could be our goofy selves, but I think there's something so rewarding and revealing about seeing your story in the lens of another person. All of these photographers have different styles and different personalities and DIFFERENT EYES.
Being vulnerable in front of another photographer's lens allows me to feel so clearly the process that my own clients go through before their sessions with me. I'm grateful for this vulnerability because it allows me to pinpoint how I can shift my process to give them more details beforehand and more direction in the session. But that excitement I feel when I get that "your photos are ready!" email? I hope my clients feel that same level of giddiness!
Whether they are big or small moments, your story deserves to be documented for you in the right now and for future generations in the times to come.
Jacqua & Lolo // Personal
July 2015: I shot my first session on an island on the St. Croix River, the maternity session with Jacqua & Chris, big sister Beau and baby Lolo, who arrived fast and furious 12 days later. We were just in time!! This session was a first for me in a lot of ways; not only the location and the fact we took a boat there (!!) but that it was one of the first times I looked at everything and made the decision that I would not only make great images for this family but I would make art.
I started out in photography making art in the very classic of terms. Each time I picked up my camera, I was conscious of all the female photographers who came before me and I decided that I would keep them all at the forefront of my mind. To make decisions on placement and lighting and subjects and objects with the idea that I'd be fully engaged 100% of the time.
Over time, things become more second nature. I make conscious decisions, of course. But those photographers I studied in college became more of a distant memory.
When I stepped foot on that island, I looked at this scene and immediately saw a vision. One of motherhood, of vulnerability, of childhood, of wonder and magic. It was a dream.
I literally pinched myself with how blessed I was to be there as a witness to this moment between mother and daughter and future daughter and the culmination of 9 months of hard work - I mean, I've never done it, but I'm positive that growing a human is extremely challenging, especially when you're chasing an almost 2 year old ;)
And that's when I decided to make the journey back to where I started: making, creating and witnessing pure magic.
July 2016: Lolo is a year old exactly and we're back on this magical island, where the water level is lower than the year before and more trees have fallen. Big sister Beau is more adventurous and talkative and speaks her mind. She's swimming in the river while Lolo has her one year portraits.
Jacqua is a gracious and gorgeous mama, who loves her girls so fiercely and teaches them in big and small moments daily. Watching her from wife to mama to one to mama to two has shown me that really, we can all have it all, in whatever ways we want it. Her girls get their joy from her love and boy, I cannot wait to see how they grow. And Chris - honestly, hardest working guy ever. We captured some fabulous shots of him and Lolo during this session that remind me that the love being dads and daughters is unmatched.
Lolo is as adventurous as her sister, but also her determination and resilient nature is just as strong. This sweet girl was in a brace and later, a cast, to help her hips grow in the right way, which prohibited her movement until now. She may just be crawling now but this girl loves finding her way in the world. Picking up sand, sticks and grass, laughing and giggling. I am constantly stopped in my tracks with how wonderful and joyful she is.
I could go on and on for hours with how much I adore this family and this First Year package, but I'll sum it up with this: This shot and the journey between the two is one of infinite reasons why I love my job.
Why I choose to make and create every day.
Why I want to start looking at this business in new and fresh ways.
Why I feel grateful to meet amazing families who choose me to witness their magic and capture the moments that will tell the story of their life.
Social Media & Summer 2016 // Personal
Remember back to that day in January when I announced I was finally, after 9 years, completely full-time with this business? I have thought back to that day numerous times in the last 30 days and wondered what I would have told myself if I would have known what the last 8 months would be like.
Can we be 100% honest for a minute?
1 - I would have told myself to buckle up.
2 - I would have reminded myself to make time every day to get outside and breathe fresh air without my cell phone.
3 - I would have recommended a daily schedule that's regimented and yet balanced, because I thrive on regularity and consistency.
4 - I would have reminded myself to go to a workout class every day at lunch and make sure that's not the only time that day I see or talk to someone because at heart, I'm an extrovert!
5 - I would have told myself to keep trusting. To keep having faith. To just keep moving forward. Onward & Upward!
The last 8 months have been nothing and more than I ever expected all at the same time. I think back to the days when I was juggling this business, 2 part-time (okay, actually full-time) jobs, relationships, sometimes marathon training, sometimes schooling, giving talks and presentations to up and coming photographers, and I wonder how in the world I kept my head above water. Emotions were sky-high during those days, probably from all the endorphins of constantly needing to be in motion!
But when you take away everything from that list above and replace it with a full-time business with an employee list of ONE and suddenly, you've morphed into the boss, the social media expert, the photographer, the editor, the business meeting taker and the HR rep all at once, it's more overwhelming than I ever expected.
When you move from being constantly surrounded by people and motion to putting yourself at home in an office with no one to communicate with except your circle online and the construction crew outside, it's more overwhelming than I expected. My daily step count went from over 10,000 a day to maybe 2,000 - because the steps from my chair to the coffee pot and back is maybe a grand total of 25. Oops!
It was surprising to finally see fully and completely that my busy season for the bar & bat mitzvah market is the entire year minus July and half of August. I kept my nose to the computer for January through June and when July came, I looked outside and thought, "goodness! It's summer! Time to relax, take a break, rejuvenate ..." And I have done that. YAY for me!
But what's most challenging about this almost constant yearlong busy-ness is that when I'm not busy (summer), everyone else in my circle is. Vacations, weddings, photography business is booming ... and social media is the way everyone shares their busy-ness.
I realized quickly that I needed a real break after I returned home from a week with my grandparents, during which, I actually took a break from social media and email and my phone. I felt so disconnected and so connected all at the same time. I was investing in real face to face time with two people who mean so much to me and it felt so honest and so real life. I started knitting and doing embroidery and would sit on the sofa with my Gram for hours working on something that I could visually see growing and taking shape and moving forward.
When I came home, I felt more changed than I had expected to feel. I felt renewed and ready to make a fresh start. I knew I wanted the rest of the year to look differently than the first half. I felt ready to share more thoughts and stories and images than ever before.
But that week, three significant events happened in our city, our state and our country that caused me to continue pressing pause on sharing. I felt like all those words I was ready to share weren't adequate enough. I felt like I was boasting my success when others were in the trenches of mourning. When it felt like a collective crying over loss of life, loss of freedoms and loss in our community. It felt dark. How was I going to share something light hearted and an image filled with smiles when hearts were breaking?
I stopped sharing and I haven't shared for the last month. A full 30 days since I posted the image above on Instagram with a huge question mark of when I'd be back. I even removed social media from my phone for the majority of that month.
Here I am, back in the saddle again. I took another break, because #summervacation. Luis and I visited friends on the East Coast and I can't wait to share those stories with you. I shot only film for 1 week and it was downright glorious. It felt so good to be back where I first started - the mystery and magic of film is something I never want to take for granted.
Life looks different now than it did in January. I've started a new daily routine that's more balanced and rigid, but turns out, I need a schedule. If I don't have someone telling me where to be and when, I'll probably watch the Olympics 24/7 for the next month. I started listening to a podcast or two in the mornings, I'm still knitting dishcloths like 3 generations before me and I started running again (after an injury - more on that soon).
I realized that progress over perfection is really the way to live the next year, 5 years, 10 years in business and in life. I have my structured work times and deadlines, but every night, I close the computer and the office door at 6 pm. I make dinner and turn my phone off at 9 pm. I knit a few rows and chat with Luis about his day. I take a morning walk with my coffee and spend the first hour of my day without technology or screens.
And for now? This works. It gives me energy. I think about my social media posts and what I want to say that day on my morning run because I don't run with music anymore. PS. Have you guys heard the birds on these summer mornings?! I'm starting my running "career" over again - just over a mile at a time and slowly building it. I got back on the bike and Luis has officially turned me into a biker, padded shorts and all.
I don't have a real social media marketing plan. Yet. But I will, because I joined a social media class online with a community of people all across the world when I realized what I was doing wasn't working. I want to continue to inspire and be inspired. I want to motivate you not just to hire me to take your photo but in how you live your day to day.
Because if I've learned one thing in the last 30 days / 30 years, it's that we're really all in this together. It's not one over the other, but when we look at each other as equals and as partners in learning how to live life to the fullest, it feels like the journey is filled with more hope and more light.
And aren't things like hope, light and community what we're all searching for anyway? :)
Clare // Headshots
It was winter 2014 and little did I know that one sushi date would turn into a whirlwind friendship with someone who knew a guy (the one I was going to start dating soon) way back in high school. Our story is a little bit confusing and kind of whacky but there's so much fun and such a serious dose of lightheartedness in it, that when I think of Clare, I just smile.
Let me back up a bit and say that I didn't have a ton of friends growing up and into high school and even in college. I was busy making waves and I sort of thought of myself as a "one friend at a time" kind of girl, because being surrounded by a lot of girls and women at one time was sort of overwhelming. Something about too many emotions and I was already dealing with enough of my own. I struggled with having one or two friends from one circle or job or school and having a few others at another place in my life - when I thought of my friends as a collective group, it was always such a mixture of old and new, tried and true and honestly, a lot of people that I didn't think would ever be found in one room at the same time.
Then last summer, a year or more into our friendship, Clare reminded me of a simple fact that every adult human should know: you have a tribe surrounding you at all times. Maybe your tribe is made up of friends you just met and friends you've known for decades. Couples, single people, people with kids and people who never had kids. Former teachers and former students, kids under ten and adults over 60. But regardless of what they look like or their statistics on paper, one piece binds them all together and to you: they are part of your story. You could call them at any point, any time and they would help. They'll be there celebrating you every step of the way and no, they aren't related to you by flesh and bone, but they hold such crucial parts of your story that you couldn't bear to think of any big moment of your life without them being there.
Clare is one of the members of my tribe. She's hilariously funny, immensely sweet and so talented at so many things that I've made it my life goal to be her agent someday. I don't think people who work with CRM or do needlepoint need agents but I've known for a long while that this lady is going places and I'm going to be there to see just how far she goes.
My clients-turned-friends may know Clare as the gal who helps facilitate my fall and winter mini sessions and although we've been doing that for just two seasons, I couldn't imagine doing it without her. She makes sure ya'll are comfortable, have a donut or seven before you go and she loves hearing the story behind how I met you, your kids' names and ages and any hilarious tidbits about how past sessions have gone or what to expect when you walk in the door.
I don't shoot a lot of headshots, simply because my style is more simple and natural than most professional people want out of a headshot. But Clare just wanted something that said CLARE and so she asked me to take hers. I did and within ten minutes, we had the shot.
And then we skipped, arm in arm, to get coffee and donuts. (This is not a joke)
If you'd like a simple and natural headshot like Clare's, I'd love to chat! And no pressure about the skipping and coffee and donuts - but just say the word and I'll deliver. XOXO
I attended a workshop last week focused on branding and business for creatives. It was one of those things I looked forward to for a while, had high hopes for and went in with my head held high. This world of glitter hearts and love and shiny amazing things that I found myself in two years ago has been such a blessing, but it's a place that I've suddenly found not fitting quite right. Like those awesome pants you buy on sale that fit perfectly except for the length or the size of the pockets. Those small details that make you question the whole.
You see, I just turned 29. Well, I guess I've been 29 for just 30 days now and holy cats, does it feel uncomfortable. 29 is so close to 30 and no, it's not that 30 scares me. I'm actually hoping to welcome 30 with arms wide open. It's that this number represents a sort of passage, a kind of growth. Personally, professionally, in all the ways that matter most.
At this workshop, and actually, in most of my daily life, I find pride and accomplishment in being the age I am and what I would deem a success. This business sort of happened upon me seven+ years ago and I can easily say I found myself in creating these images that make people so so happy. I went from being that awkward kid in high school to being this business woman who's slowly / quickly sometimes making a name for herself in this industry.
When I made the decision only a short two years ago that bar + bat mitzvahs are the events I want to photograph for the rest of my life, it was like someone turned on the light in my heart. Documenting these events is like looking into one of those fortune-teller globes; these kids hold so much promise. I could be in the midst of future presidents, doctors, lawyers, teachers who are going to impact other kids forever. Their future is unknown and SO SO bright. And for as much as I hope the world for them, I also realize who I was always meant to be when I'm in the midst of them, dancing and eating cupcakes and wearing glowsticks on their heads. Feeling the beat of the music and laughing and making memories with their friends.
On Tuesday, I thought I had it all together.
At day's end on Tuesday? Total mess. [Slight disclaimer: my mess came in the form of a call home to Mom, reassurance and a slight kick in the pants. See also: Ben & Jerry's pint of strawberry cheesecake]
After the ice cream was gone, I realized something quite remarkable: I had already known I needed to make a change. But that tug in my gold-glitter heart became an unavoidable pull. For as much as I'm growing more every day into who I'm meant to be, these kids are too. The word is spreading and the events get bigger and bigger. I photographed 5 past clients for their senior portraits this year. These kids are growing up! (Insert sobbing / proud me here)
It's time for this cute gold glitter heart-filled world to grow up a bit and change into something a bit more sophisticated, a bit more classic but still 110% me.
I want to assure you I'm not going anywhere. I'll still be blogging, still be working (oh goodness, the number of families I'll meet this month is AMAZING!) and come early 2015, I'll be a little bit older and a little bit more me :) I say this always and I never want to not say it: your trust and faith in me to continue doing this work pushes me to do even better every time. When your business is YOU, there are decisions you can make that are both personal and professional. This brand refresh is both of those intertwined. And for the record? I know you're all going to love it even more than you love this look + feel.
As always, you all rock my world. The amount of people I connected with yesterday at a bar + bat mitzvah event fair was astounding - I wanted to hug all of you! I hugged a few, passed out more chocolates and am crossing fingers they call to book me into 2016. The families who have booked for this fall's mini session dates? You make my heart sing. This business feels like a team effort much of the time - I'm putting myself and my work out into the world; you're receiving it with open arms and spreading the love.
Thank you. I'm forever indebted and in love with each and every one of you.
xoxo,
Sydnee
Back in November, I traveled to San Francisco / Oakland for a few family sessions and before the "work" portion of the trip began, I decided to take a few days to vacation. A word I still am unsure the meaning of! This was after a non-stop summer, a couple of personal triumphs and a few more personal lows, so it couldn't have come at a more perfect time. I'd only traveled alone one other time - to the Maine Media Workshops in 2009 - which proved to be a life-changing series of moments. I was ready for a bit of magic! Special thanks to Jonny Edwin and Olivia for their fantastic recommendations and to Rachel for reconnecting over beer near Washington Square.
I spent the days running, bus traveling, walking, sleeping and keeping my eyes and ears open for adventure. I ate pizza, I drank wine, I went to cheese shops and bookstores. I had my tintype taken HERE, which I just read closed up shop earlier this year - so grateful I had the experience when they were still open!
The best part? I encountered the BatKid experience on my last morning run; proof that dreams come true and good people help make them happen!
Everything was new, everything was perfect. With the slight exception of the worst cough/cold on the history of the planet, but I didn't let that stop me.
I took my camera with me only once, on a 5 hour bus tour of the city that should have lasted only 2. I had a lot of time to spend looking, seeing and dreaming. I captured the majority of these images on that bus tour, exploring lines, composition, angles and colors, all from a bus seat. Unfortunately, I didn't picnic in front of the Painted Ladies like I had hoped, but there's always next time! And who knows, maybe then I'll run into Uncle Jesse and little Michelle from Full House. Dreams really do come true!
Looking through these images, I'm so grateful for the few days I had here and am counting the months until I can return. There is so much more to see and explore, but for now, these images are enough San Fran magic for me :)
xoxo,
Sydnee